My Journey: Saying Goodbye to 2023 and Hello to 2024

This blog “My Journey,” was started in Nov/Dec 2020.

On my own terms..with no real plan.

I would just sit and write with the flow of my heart and my mind.

The consistency of the blog has been at my own pace… one every month, one every few months.. then it lead to a few big gaps.

Being perfectly honest after my last blog “Some thoughts, I should’ve said.”  I experienced some major anxiety.. I felt like maybe I shouldn’t have posted it.  I had wrote everything out that I was currently feeling and what I had been feeling over the course of time (bottled up).   There was a lot more detail involved that I did end up editing/cutting out.  After I posted it I instantly wanted to take it down.   I had to remind myself that I started that last blog with the statement “I AM OVER THE PULL BACK AND THE RETREAT.”  So I let the blog stay, and I disappeared for a week; from everything..but mostly my phone (no service, no social media, no work).

During the last five-six months I haven’t stopped writing in my journal. I continue to write a few words, or sometimes even a few pages.

After all that I was feeling when writing the last blog I knew I needed time away from it. Time to take a breath, and regroup.

These last few months I have been able to write a handful of blogs. I chose to post a couple smaller blogs in the background and not post “publicly” about them.  Being able to write some blogs as they were flowing, allowed me to choose when I will be able to post all of them.

The last two years, I have posted one last blog of the year on December 31st (”My Journey: A year of Writing” and “Would you choose to Write.”  This year I didn’t.

I had just finished driving twenty four hours straight with a dog (CT to FL). I was functioning on a max of thirty minutes of sleep and didn’t really want to post this blog right away.  My last blog took a lot out of me and so has each of the ones I have recently written.

Truthfully, I didn’t really plan to have anyone end up actually reading any of these blogs.

My only plan was that I knew I wanted to create an open space where I could share my thoughts. They are not only a way for me to write how I feel but to share them too.

By sharing some of these blogs I have learned how to communicate about my writing with others.   Some individuals have reached out and openly talked to me about certain sections/ certain blogs.  I have never been one to enjoy sharing my writing with anyone.. based purely on my own judgements, insecurities and lack of skills in this area.   I get nervous but I really enjoy having conversations with others about what I write/wrote. Learning their thoughts, or how it may have connected in their life or even their perception/perspective on it.

2023 done.

It was a year of action, it was a year of growth.

Filled with a handful of pep talks to myself.

A handful of moments where I needed to find the positives.

All my choices, I made this past year only helped guide me forward.

Another year that helped me understand more of myself and to recognize what I allow around in my space.

Always appreciating the good and the bad.

Learning it is okay to receive for once and not always give.

Learning how to trust myself deeper.   

Learning how to pay attention to micro fibs people tell.

Learning to trust my instinct on someone the first time.

Learning to not trust my thoughts in moments of anxiety.

Learning to understand any repeated moments where I overthink.

Learning to recognize who doesn’t belong in my life.

Learning to not let everyone have full access to me or my mind.

I took actions in growing my business more.

I sat in “hermit mode” a lot.

I experienced new places.

I followed new opportunities.

I met new people.

I had many moments of allowing people into spaces that they didn’t deserve to be in.

I lived through more moments that would test and challenge me.

I engaged in more conversations with REAL context.

I filled my time this past year with Creating more and Learning more of new things.

My anxiety may have hit its peak (due to my overthinking)..this last year but I gained so much more during this past year than I think I have in the last three.

I have learned and started to understand that when I was having high anxiety and was overthinking it all seemed to be when I was going against my intuition.  The unknown moments and moments where I wasn’t letting go of the things I couldn’t control.

I have learned to allow myself to be “soft" again.

Imagine people closest to you not knowing if its okay to hug you or not.  Or hugging you and you are immediately uncomfortable. This is definitely something I have overcome this year.

I have allowed myself to let certain individuals get closer to me, in ways I haven’t in a long time.

I have allowed some individuals into my “safe spaces.”  My safe spaces are areas most are not allowed to be at all.   This has allowed me to get to know them on another level. I have been able to see how they act in these spaces.  I am able to pay closer attention in these situations to their words, and watch how they move.  No judgements, just an open space to connect.

At this point you know that this blog isn’t really much like the previous one.

It wasn’t meant to be a pour all out type of blog.

Its more of a blog to recognize that its been another year and I am grateful for each and every moment that I was lucky enough to experience.

The Vulernable moments

The Emotional moments

THE REAL MOMENTS.

2024 has started.

With a handful of new opportunities, and new experiences.   

There are moments this year already in one month that have taken me way out of my comfort zone.  Moments that have allowed individuals into spaces I normally wouldn’t allow anyone to be. I have also been able to recognize the moments where I should have been more direct, more vocal about my wants.   

This year I plan to continue to trust the vibes I get because they don’t ever lie.  AND decide how I want to move based on them.  I want to be able to stay present in each new experience I have.  Speaking up for myself is whats important to me right now.

Staying true to my heart

Showing up with love

Being myself always

Love Your Journey